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Rule #26 Make your bike photogenic
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Rule #27 Shorts and socks should be like Goldilocks
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Rule #3 Guide the uninitiated
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Rule #31 Spare tubes, multi-tools and repair kits should be stored in jersey pockets
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Rule #32 Humps are for camels: no hydration packs
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Rule #33 Shave your guns
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Rule #36 Eyewear shall be cycling specific
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Rule #47 Drink Tripels, don't ride triples
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Rule #5 Harden the Fuck Up
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Rule #50 Facial hair is to be carefully regulated
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Rule #51 Livestrong wristbands are cockrings for your arms
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Rule #58 Support your local bike shop
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